The ultimate question. I ask, WTF?

Im 24 and unwillingly i'll keep evaluating my life. I'm crippled when it comes to taking action, i certainly can but what? It either seems petty or not worth the risk, so i end up distracting myself with stuff i think is nonsense but entertaining. Looking at my destiny anything i do is trivial so maybe God only wants me to be, assuming God exists, and that we can even somewhat define "God". I have an enternity of death and 25,000 days to live. So now what? Everything i've done up to this point is a result of outside influences. Like what your parents told you, teachers, tv, and perhaps i'm enslaved now realizing it.. Everything controls your thoughts even the language we speak in. But do most people have this much doubt? This doesn't feel good. Perhaps life isn't meant to be only pleasurable...? Though how can we recognize an answer when its right in our face? Sure, I see the 'flaws' with what other people do, so this justifies my laziness. If i was satisified then what? I'd be screwed. Alas is this the human fate? I mean some innocent people go to jail for 20 years while killers go free and bums do nothing. Who decided our mortality, that nothing can be free in a world we all share? Effort is admirable but also exploitable. Work sucks, i'm not interested in responsibilities nor am i forced to so i don't. I'm purely reactive. At times i've given energy into something from schoolwork, to playing video games, my first job, to exercise, and illegal drug useage/efficiency. Can't say i've learned a thing. Chicks in their teens go for badasses/cool types then its changes to good looking men and their confidence. Then when they're in thier 30s and 40s it seems like its about you being able to support them...senior citizens just relive thier earlier lives... I don't want these shallow people? *** falling into this trap, but eliminating choices doesn't replace a life sentence with anything. I mean im at the point where ill watch crap i hate online because its free and it distracts me. Used to love music, but my skills wouldnt evolve and i got tinnitus, kept down till I'm no more. Born to imitate our eldars then rot lest we die unexpectedly and forgotten forever(given enough time) Lastly our minds are so 2 dimensional... life-death, good-bad, illegal-legal...Are most of you social? I've seen many people and the difference between safari and human is greyish... You know, I don't fear death, it just sucks that suicide is regulated. Nothing is free remember. So I ask, you ever wake up one day and think "What the F***"